I love it when I’ve donated some money to a worthwhile cause like the Red Cross or Amnesty. There’s a site called Lend with Care, that uses your donation to give microfinance loans to help people work themselves out of poverty. It’s a great feeling to know you’re helping real people better themselves. It’s just lovely to be kind. Being kind is a human superpower. It makes us feel good and the world seems like a much better place. However, kindness does more than just make us feel good; it actually bolsters our psychological and physical health. Kindness is linked to improved happiness and a reduction in stress, anxiety, and feelings of isolation. There’s hard science to say it boosts mood, compassion, empathy, and self-esteem. 

But why are we kind? Why is kindness such a beneficial state of being? It is something of a mystery. After all, it has little evolutionary value. According to science, life has to be strong to survive. Genes are selfish. Ruthless even. Kindness is counterintuitive. It often takes away resources from those that have them to give them to competitors. And yet, kindness is a universal force. It is everywhere in the natural world: trees support sickly or diseased neighbours by giving them water and nutrients through their roots, birds warn others of nearby predators, and animals foster babies when they become orphaned. Nature, in contrast to the notions of survival of the fittest we have, is jam-packed full of examples of coexistence, mutual support, and kindness. 

And kindness goes back to every major cultures and great thinkers throughout history. In Taoism, kindness is a core virtue that involves living in harmony with the Tao, being compassionate to oneself and others, and embracing simplicity, patience, and balance. In ancient Greece, kindness was embodied by Philophrosyne, representing hospitality and positive social interactions, and was a sacred duty known as xenia. The Bible emphasises kindness throughout its verses too, encouraging followers to show love, compassion, and gentleness, as seen in Jesus’ teachings. The Quran also emphasises kindness throughout, encouraging believers to embody kindness in their daily lives. In this way, kindness is the epitome of virtue and compassionate living.

Scientists have had many theories as to why kindness should be so beneficial to life. It used to be believed that organisms behaved cooperatively as a way of promoting the species, known as “group selection theory”, but this is now regarded with scepticism. It may partly be that helping those similar to us is a way of passing on our genes, but this does not explain benevolence towards those who do not share them. Another idea is shared altruism – “I’ll scratch your back, if you scratch mine”, but again, this does not explain kindness to strangers you’ll never meet again or when no one will see you do it. So while kindness does not explicitly contradict evolution, it cannot be fully explained by it either. It seems as though kindness has other properties that transcend mere genetic inheritance. 

Again, I’m left to wonder, why is life like this? It is easy to just bail out here and say ‘we don’t know. It’s just one of life’s oddities. A mysterious by-product of being alive.’ That, in my opinion, is a cop-out. I suppose if you’re one of those people that believe the whole universe is a freak accident with no cause or purpose, then it’s not much of a shocker to believe kindness is similarly random. For me though, this is evidence of purpose. It supports my belief that this is all part of a grand design – that being kind is hard-wired into the fabric of the universe for a reason. This is my God, talking to me, showing me His universe and laying out His purpose for me to see. It is His way of showing me the route back to Him and kindness is His guiding light. To be kind, is to get closer to the Divine essence of our nature, and so for me, the mystery of why kindness is so ubiquitous is solved.

Sources

Why is it nice to be nice?

The healing power of kindness

The false allure of group selection