I heard a young US woman talking recently about how Feminism has destroyed the traditional family unit. She called herself a Trad wife, which is another new term to me, and she said that it was a women’s role to stay at home and raise kids. Now, my daughter is a stay at home Mum, who is raising her daughter while her husband goes out to work, so I have no problem with that. My wife did that too with our two kids. But I don’t know what any of this has to do with Feminism at all. Feminism pursues the right for social, economic and political equality. Rights to education, voting rights, running a business, inheriting an estate, equal pay, the right to hold political office – all of these have been hard earned by long arduous struggles in countries all around the world. What any of this has got to do with women’s place in the home? I guess the accusation is that because women have now taken up more roles in the workplace, they have abandoned the family home. So is that true?

If we are talking about the family unit, then the biggest threat is not women abandoning their motherly roles, but rather men who father children then bugger off and shirk their responsibilities. I worked in schools in deprived areas for nearly twenty years and I’ve lived in those same areas all my life. I know what I’m talking about, and I know a lot of single Mums, struggling to raise their kids under difficult circumstances. I know no single Dads. Not one. That’s not to say they don’t exist, just that they aren’t as common. The single Mums I see are amazing young women; tenacious, hard-working, loving and caring Mums who juggle many different roles. I am in awe of them. Many of the young lads I see need a kick up the arse; smoking blow and playing computer games rather than living up to their responsibilities.

This brings me to the second biggest threat to the family unit that I see, which is the cost of renting or owning a home. When I was starting out, rents were affordable, mortgages even more so. We could just about afford for my wife to stay at home. These days that is a luxury parents cannot afford. Both parents often need to work just to make ends meet. Those that can afford to only have one parent working are lucky.

Third on my list of causes of the break-up of the family unit, in my opinion, is substance abuse. Drug use has become so ubiquitous these days it is taken for granted, yet I know of so many cases where drink and drugs have fuelled family tragedies, and break-ups. To blame this huge societal problem solely on young women is a vile, disgusting slur. 

So no, I don’t blame women for failing their children by demanding to be treated fairly and equally. I don’t think women fail their children by going out to work and helping provide a good standard of life for their family. My own mother did. It is usually an economic necessity. The traditional nuclear family never consisted of one wife and one father anyway. It was an extended family, consisting of grandparents, close friends, aunts and uncles. When I was little, we were raised by a close-knit group, not by one woman struggling to cope on her own. So I think it’s perfectly fine for the mother to work and the children to be looked after, if it’s well managed. But when it comes down to it, I think many women would like to be able to stay at home and look after their kids full-time. To blame the fact that they can’t on Feminism is a gross distortion of the facts. Feminism has brought many more women into the workplace and they are on an equal footing with men. Perhaps the people promoting the idea that Feminism is a threat to the family unit, are just men who feel very threatened and intimidated by successful women.