Aggressive people who use fear, intimidation, or coercion to get what they want. They appear ultra-confident, speak with authority, use words very cleverly to put you on the back foot, and gaslight you. It’s not them— it’s you. Many business leaders and bosses are like this. They exact positions of power because: ‘Business is a tough game; only the strong survive’. They don’t empathise, they demand compliance. They are cold and callous when dealing with sensitive situations. Governments, businesses, and schools  are overrun with this mindset now. Strict, no-nonsense, one strike and you’re out approaches to dealing with people. You will obey the rules. 

What this does is it causes anxiety and stress in people. They either develop mental health issues and lack self-esteem, or they rebel and quit the system. Fearful or disenfranchised. They are the options. People who have been raised in this way, by aggressive, overly strict parents, have difficulty coping with stressful situations; they are typically underachievers and can have problems expressing themselves. 

Aggression isn’t always so overt. Often it can be the passive-aggressive kind. Passive-aggressive people don’t have outbursts, they restrain themselves and control their anger. Their disdain is there, bubbling under the surface. It manifests itself in subtly putting people down and snidely ridiculing them, being stubborn, always insisting on winning the argument, sullen, moody behaviour and passing responsibility onto others. They put you down and undermine you. Often, it isn’t what they say, it’s what they don’t say. They rarely compliment you, or when they do, it’s barbed with an aggressive undertone. ‘You look much better with the black shirt, the white one show’s your fat.’ They are master manipulators. They know how and when to get what they want and, if they are cornered, they will suddenly display huge amounts of emotion. In an instant, they are hurt beyond words, sobbing uncontrollably at how much you have hurt them. It isn’t their fault. It’s yours. They accept no blame or responsibility and do not admit when they are wrong. 

Living with people like this is extremely difficult. It robs you of your happiness. It steals your self-esteem. I’ve often written on this blog how happy I am. This is because I spent my first 40 years living with aggressive, manipulative people. Now I live with someone who is kind, considerate and well-balanced. It is joyful and the reason I’m so happy. If you are subject to aggressive, red flag people, I hope you can summon the strength and courage to free yourself of them.