I have no interest in changing my own name, but there have been some quite hilarious name changes over the years. 

Londoner Sam Smith (not the Sam Smith), changed his name to Bacon Double Cheeseburger.

George Garratt changed his to Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined. 

Lianne Dawson and her twin sister Emma, inserted new middle names to reflect their love of the pop singer Madonna. They became Lianne Madonna Vogue On The Cover Of A Magazine McHale Dawson, and Emma Madonna Confessions Of A Dance Floor Dawson. What’s wrong with Madge?

Dentist Edgar Randolph Parke changed his name to Painless, which unfortunately for him, resulted in him losing his licence. 

And then there’s Michael Howard who changed his name to Yorkshire Bank are Fascist Bastards, to protest at their exorbitant charges. 

Another guy changed his name to I Love Spam, and got married in the Spam museum in the USA. (What women have to put up with!)

Famous people regularly change their names of course, but here’s a few I didn’t know:

Meghan Markle’s real name is Rachel. Personally, I think Sparkle would have been better. Sparkle Markle has quite a ring to it.

Hollywood hard man Vin Diesel’s name is Mark Sinclair, which definitely is not hard and not a good fuel for your car either. 

Perhaps Maraj sounded too much like Mirage, because Nicki Minaj’s real name is not a figment of her imagination, but actually Onika Tanya Maraj.

DJ Calvin Harris is really just plain old Adam Wiles, which obviously isn’t cool enough for Ibiza, or for dating sexy celebrities.

Comedy actor Charlie Sheen was born Carlos Estevez. This is not so much a name change as a whole cultural shift.

Joaquin Rafael Bottom is actually called Joaquin Phoenix. Or is Joaquin Phoenix called Joaquin Rafael Bottom? Who knows. But I think with a name like Bottom, it’s perfectly reasonable to change it, especially if you want to get to the top in the movies.

However, I think Jeffrey Drew Wilschke gets first prize for naming himself Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop. In an outpouring of sheer delusion he said his reasons were: “Beezow” for “the explosion of awareness of the interconnectedness of the infinite love in the universe;” “Doo-doo” for “the struggle of our daily lives with that awareness, that with love comes chaos;” and “Zopittybop-bop-bop” as “the outcome of that struggle, which is often ironic, especially because all life ends in death.” So definitely not because he was just a silly sod then.

Me, I think I’ll just stick with Paul. It may be boring but it rolls off the tongue, and at least when the dementia sets in I won’t be any more confused than I am already.