The opening paragraph to my autobiographical book Classroom Catastrophes is:

Autobiographies tend to be written by famous people who have led incredibly rich and exciting lives, so I suppose I’d better start by warning you that I’m not famous, nor am I especially adventurous. In fact I’ve lead a fairly typical kind of life. I’ve never escaped from a Turkish prison with a kilo of cocaine shoved up my arse or climbed Mount Everest using my knob as a crampon. I’ve never had thousands of teenage girls lusting after my flesh but I’ve had a fair few tell me to f&@¥ off. I was just humble teacher, not a superman, a superhero, or even super for that matter, but I am quite fond of wearing brightly coloured underpants and at a push I’d go for the tights too.

Available from my website http://www.paulcarneyarts.com or Amazon