Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, your values become your destiny. Mahatma Gandhi 

We all have values that mould and shape our whole lives, yet few of us pay much attention to them, let alone use them to help us lead better lives.

Life is Positive

We live in a creative universe; an incredible cosmic web of galaxies, miraculously derived from an infinitesimally small singularity. By default, the universe produces positive things; things of significant value. Even when apparently destructive things happen, there are positive reactions that arise from them. For example, the fearsome fires of supernovae forge the very elements we are all made from. On our planet, destructive volcanoes erupt which wreak havoc, but in time this produces the most fertile soil. Forest fires appear to destroy everything in their path, yet they help rejuvenate them, and are beneficial for their conservation. In this way, things of great value are in abundance on our planet, and most likely everywhere else too. Life is a constructive force, not deconstructive one.

Because life is positive and affirming across the universe, we can be certain that the natural order for our minds and bodies is to be positive and affirming too. A healthy young child is vibrant, curious, energetic, innocent, and playful. A happy person is uplifting, joyful and full of fun. By contrast, a negative person is sad, cynical, depressed, bitter, twisted, angry or malevolent. A disturbed person is capable of inflicting extremely destructive acts that are difficult to recover from. Negative states of mind and body lead to sickness and internal maladies. They result in addictions, substance abuse and self-harm. Violent behaviours lead to inner stress and trauma. We do not need to be taught this, it is clear and evident. We all want to be in beneficial, positive states of mind. But how do we do this?

Let our values be our guide

Life is centred in positive things, and they manifest in us through our values. Our values are our principles or standards about what is important to us in life. They are things that are significant to us, things that have worth or are useful.

Values are crucial for ethical decision-making. They are the core of what makes a life meaningful, and take us away from short-term satisfaction into long-term fulfilment. Values help us to live the life we want to live. They’re rooted in our core beliefs, inform our priorities and, when practiced consistently, form our character.

Define your values

And yet, most people, if asked to quantify what their values were, would struggle. This is because they aren’t uppermost in our mind, they are background thoughts, instincts, and intuitions. We rarely articulate them, but if challenged or taken away, we soon know about it. For example, those with families will value them as being one of the most important aspects of their life. They may not define their family as one of their primary values, but if threatened they will act instantly to protect them. Friends are like this too. We cherish them, and place great importance on them. Beyond the obvious however, there are other values that influence us and shape who we are:

Your beliefs: What is your moral compass? Do you think stealing is ok? How about violence? Is that wrong in all cases, or do you think it can be justified in certain contexts? Do you twist morality to suit your own ends? What about religion? Are you a true believer, or do you dip in and out of faith at certain times and places? Perhaps you’re a humanist or an atheist. What kind of parent are you, strict or fair? Is discipline good for us, or bad? What about education? Is it over-rated, vital, or only needed up to a point? Your answers to these kinds of questions form your core beliefs, and your core beliefs shape your values. 

Your attitudes: if your attitude to life is to be successful materialistically, through the kind of house you live in, the clothes you wear, the car you drive, money, status, etc. then you’ll value these things uppermost, and place the acquisition of them above other people’s welfare, and even at times, your family and friends. How many of us are guilty of putting our career before our kids, for example? Perhaps you have a patriotic attitude and value your country, maybe you value people who are like you, above people who are not. You might be a traditionalist, or a modernist. Often, it does us the world of good to be out of our comfort zone, and to put ourselves in unfamiliar places. You might embrace the newness of these experiences, or maybe not. However, it’s good to know and be sure of your attitudes, because they can help you define your values, and in doing so, help you find greater contentment in life.

Your behaviours: Values manifest themselves in actions. Values become what we do, they are not what we say we’re going to do, or what we might do. Our values become our behaviours. Ideally, we find and establish lives and careers based on our values, as I did in art and design. Or, they become our hobby or passion in life, that we do in our spare time. They might form our politics, or influence which organisations we support and devote our time to. 

Your personality: your values may make you an honest, generous, uplifting person. They could also make you mistrusting, insular, or suspicious. Values influence how we interact with others, how dependable we are, how trustworthy, or how hard working we are. Some of these are genetic traits we have throughout our lives, some of them are learned behaviours, from parents or upbringing, but all of them can be changed with the right attitude. I was brought up in a homophobic household, but taught myself that this opinion was wrong and prejudiced. 

After reading this, I hope you think about your own values a little more. Perhaps write them down and develop them. I hope you mould and shape your values as a result of this article. I hope you think about how to remove the negative, destructive values you have acquired and replace them with more positive, life affirming ones. None of us are perfect. All of us have a wealth of improvements we can make, if we put our minds to it. And I do believe that our efforts are rewarded. We can become much happier, healthier, fulfilled people with strong, lasting, meaningful relationships, if we work on getting our values right.