My brother is, in my opinion, extremely confident, without being arrogant. It’s rare to find this I think. Too many confident people are brash and overzealous. With him, forty years of Indian mantra meditation have forged a calm, spiritual person. He still can still be very insular however. It’s like, he sees the path, and can’t understand other people’s inability to find it too. He doesn’t get angry at anyone – just bemused by them.

Sport’s people are extremely confident and so they remind me constantly of my own shortcomings. Back when I was an art teacher, PE teachers were very binary thinkers – this not that, x and y, but not z. There was no grey. I suppose that’s what they need to win things – no self doubt. Writer Mark Twain said:

‘All you need in life is ignorance and confidence, then success is sure’

At least I know why I haven’t been successful. For me, life is full of doubt, and so full of grey. Grey is a wonderful, subtle colour, full of hints of other colours. It’s ineffable and complex. There are blue greys, violet greys, yellow greys, rose greys, green greys, neutral greys, and my favourite: Payne’s Grey. Grey seems to find it difficult to decide which colour it wants to be. And I like that.